Here is an example of a cruel game played by a grown-up for the sake of gossip and revenge. I can’t even bring myself to blog about the story because it is so evil and so unkind that I can’t believe n near fifty year old woman would do such a thing. She is a mother herself, the appropraite thing would have been to speak to the girls parents or (with permission) the girl herself…
Her childish deception led to a tragic end and SHOULD be criminal.
Far be it from me to stand on my pulpit and preach (yeah right!) but in doing some research recently online I found some powerful comments on a hot topic–Gossip.
Here is a poem I found called “Who am I?” (here is a link to where I found it, the comments are interesting)
I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cruel and malicious
and gather strength with ageThe more I am quoted,
the more I am believed.
I flourish at every level of society.
My victims are helpless.
They cannot protect themselves
against me because
I have no name and no face.To track me down is impossible.
The harder you try,
the more elusive I become.
I’m nobody’s friend.Once I tarnish a reputation,
it is never the same.
I topple governments
and ruin marriages.
I ruin careers and
cause sleepless nights,
Heartache, and indigestion.I spawn suspicion
and generate grief.
I make innocent people
cry in their pillows.
Even my name hisses.I, AM GOSSIP
Submitted by Glen Stewart
Ok, also…there is a story I heard a long time ago about a Rabbi and the town gossip…I found it online although not in the same way I initially heard it:
There is a 19th century folktale about a man who went about town slandering the town’s wise man. One day, he went to the wise man’s home and asked for forgiveness. The wise man, realizing that this man had not internalized the gravity of his transgressions, told him that he would forgive him on one condition: that he go home, take a feather pillow from his house, cut it up, and scatter the feathers to the wind. After he had done so, he should then return to the wise man’s house.
Though puzzled by this strange request, the man was happy to be let off with so easy a penance. He quickly cut up the pillow, scattered the feathers, and returned to the house.
“Am I now forgiven?” he asked.
“Just one more thing,” the wise man said. “Go now and gather up all the feathers.”
“But that’s impossible. The wind has already scattered them.”
“Precisely,” he answered. “And though you may truly wish to correct the evil you have done, it is as impossible to repair the damage done by your words as it is to recover the feathers. Your words are out there in the marketplace, spreading hate, even as we speak.”
How interesting it is that we, as human beings, so quick to believe the bad that others say about someone; so accepting of the “news” contained in print and television tabloids, and so ready to assume the worst regarding another’s actions, actually allow ourselves to believe that the evil “we” spread about someone won’t really matter. Incredible that we can’t seem to immediately and resolutely accept the fact that the gossip we speak can - and often does - significant damage to that person.
And now, some random assorted quotes:
Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. ~Spanish Proverb
Without wood, a fire dies down. Without gossip, a quarrel dies down. ~Biblical Quote
Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word. ~ Shakespeare
I received an e-mail this morning from a friend, Elissa Bogos. Elissa is a budding photojournalist and I am a HUGE fan of her work. I was fortunate enough to meet Elissa about a year ago in Philadelphia through Issa’s family and we have kept in touch ever since. She’s one of those people that pops up in some of the most random places and most recently she found herself in Afghanistan and Pakistan! She periodically e-mails photo updates to her friends and family and this morning I found an e-mail from her letting everyone know that she had been published in the World section of the BBC!
Here is her e-mail: I just saw that my photos were published in the world section of the BBC. the images were taken at the Kabul Military hospital following the November 6th attack in Baghlan province.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_7080000/newsid_7082100/7082135.stm?bw=nb&mp=rm&asb=1&news=1
RELATED
Asadullah Noorzay’s account of the attack
Afghan soldier Asadullah Noorzay has spoken about witnessing the suicide attack in Baghlan which killed scores of people.
This account also contains photos of a funeral in Kabul taken by Elissa Bogos and sent to the BBC News website.
Although I am really worried about her, I know that what she is doing is important. She is telling a story that people need to know about the way of life in other parts of the world…
Keep her in your thoughts and prayers and I will keep you updated on her progress. I have a feeling her career will be taking off in no time at all….
Here is her gallery: http://www.lightstalkers.org/images/show/8812
CONGRATS ELISSA!
Did you know that Invasion of Privacy isn’t just a catchy little phrase?? It’s not just a descriptive term, nor is it a fancy way of saying “snooping”. In fact, INVASION OF PRIVACY is a legal concept…created in response to and anticipation of one person attempting to smear or slander another using personal information–ESPECIALLY information obtained in a manner that was deceptive, illegal and most especially malicious.
You see, many moons ago people actually WORKED to EARN respect that they demanded from others…a man or woman would stake something on their ”good name” and so it was no small thing to slander a person, as you can imagine, things like: gossips, rumors and outright LIES were not taken lightly. For this reason, the judiciary saw fit to protect an individuals name against those who would seek to destroy it for revenge, jealousy, or even if the slanderous individual is just generally mentally unstable….
In any case, I figured as a public service announcement, I would educated you all on the lible you create for yourself when you create and/or perpetuate “untruths” or “truths” obtained in an INVASIVE manner…and here are some interesting little snippets from Wikipedia on the topic, for your reference (I have put the important parts in red):
Invasion of privacy is a legal term essentially defined as a violation of the right to be left alone. The right to privacy is the right to control property against search and seizure, and to control information about oneself.
Modern tort law gives four categories of invasion of privacy :
- Intrusion of solitude - physical or electronic intrusion into one’s private quarters.
- Public disclosure of private facts — the dissemination of truthful private information which a reasonable person would find objectionable
- False light - the publication or dissemination of facts which place a person in a false light, even though the facts themselves may not be defamatory.
- Appropriation — the unauthorized use of a person’s name or likeness to obtain some benefits.
Invasion of privacy is a commonly used cause of action in a legal pleading. The Fourth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States ensures that “the right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, SHALL NOT BE VIOLATED, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.” The amendment, however, only protects against searches and seizures conducted by the government. Invasions of privacy by persons who are not state actors must be dealt with under private tort law.
Please pardon the harsh tone of this post. Some people need to be put on notice.
Well folks, two days later than we had planned but the Moe holiday season has kicked off–Our Christmas tree is up and open for business!
You see, we originally had it all planned out so that we would return from our cruise on Thursday, have Thanksgiving with “the fam” and then grab a tree on Friday, have everything set up for the Holiday by Friday evening…but wouldn’t you know, the surf was going off, and Issa needed new tires on his truck–not to mention the remaining Thanksgiving feast to be eaten for lunch….so, by the late afternoon we were both spent and barely had energy to walk the dogs when we got home, let alone fight the crowds on the biggest shopping day of the year.
Anyways, we walked in the door and found that Ally greeted us with her head cocked to the side–which, for a dog with regular ear infections, is a sure fire sign that we have a problem…sure enough! I looked in her ear and saw that it was terribly infected and overrun with yeast, so I decided that I should run out to the pet store and pick up some better medicine than the stuff we had before the stores closed and we found ourselves in a bad situation at midnight….
Off I went, charging the crowds (which were non-existent by 6:30ish)…stopped at the pet store, and then I realized that I didn’t have as much as a birthday card for Issa, so I stopped at Target on my way home to pick up something as well as a few essentials like milk and cereal…
(Ugh, ok I realize this is probably the most boring post ever, sorry…just have to get the mundane crap crud off of the important stuff in my brain.)
Back to the story, though. Issa had been seriously pining away all day long for a monitor for his computer at work and he even forced his father to brave a few stores on their way back from surfing but everything was sold out from Fry’s to Best Buy to Circuit City and so he had basically given up on finding the killer deal…by basically, I mean that he was still calling places but no longer insisting that we drive to them….
And, there I was in Target, strolling down the electronics aisle when what to my wondering eyes did appear but a veritable mecca of monitors marked down by 111.00! Not only were they better than the ones he had been looking at, they were bigger and cheaper and I damn darn near giddy, I almost threw TWO in my cart!
Within a few moments, Issa called me and asked if I could bring home a pizza which bought me some more time to peruse the aisles while the pizza while waiting for the pizza to be ready. I called it in and while I was on the phone, I happened upon some cal-king sheets for an unbelievable 29.99 (450 thread count, not bad!) they were desperately needed as we had been surviving with only one set for months now….and a few minutes later I found a sewing machine for something like 25% off and it was perfect for the projects I have planned like pillows and curtains and laundry bags and projects for charity….so I threw that in with the other steals in my cart and headed for the checkout.
All in all, I would say it was a fairly successful black Friday, I bought just what I needed….things I had planned to buy, didn’t go crazy and most importantly was able to give Issa a gift he was thrilled about for his birthday!
However, no tree was purchased. Oh sure, I looked at them but gosh dang they seemed so stinking expensive even on sale, upwards of 200.00! Plus, I was practically delirious and completely incapable of making a decision on something like that especially with all of the music, bright lights and crashing carts in the Christmas section of the store…I knew I would be tempted to just buy something and run out of the store, only to regret it later….no, this was something that required both Issa and myself to make a rational and reasonable decision, and it was going to have to wait until after Issa’s birthday…so, yesterday we celebrated (see Issa’s Birthdayentry)…and this morning Issa watched the Vikings on TV, and then we took Ally to the vet and finally…and finally, tonight, much to the chagrin of my dear husband (although he won’t admit it), we spent a good chunk of time shopping for the perfect tree…the perfect fake “simulated” tree.
After much “hmm”ing and “haw”ing, we finally decided on a 7′ pre-lit unbelievably realistic looking uh– replica of a “naturally” grown tree. These aren’t your mother’s simulated pine needles, no ma’am…these are almost a rubbery or soft plastic version of the real thing…so shedding from this puppy, not even a little.
On the way home, we stopped to see the movie “No Country For Old Men”…and then tonight, during the Lakers game, we assembled and fluffed our brand new tree, a tree that will be with us for many years to come.
And now it sits, happily, in our window…all lit and Christmas-like awaiting ornaments and gifts and possibly a holiday party or two.
Here’s to PEACE this holiday season.
Well, you may be 27 but in my heart and in my mind, you are still the boy I met at 17. I love you! Happy Birthday.
Update: We had an AMAZING time! Gary, Barbara, and her mother met us in Oceanside for a lovely late lunch at Joe’s Crab Shack where we ate ourselves silly and, as anyone who has been to the Crab Shack knows, a fantastic round of “Happy Birthday” with a twist. The waitress tied a bib on Issa backwards and announced that she had learned (from Issa) that he had always wanted to be “Superman” so for his birthday they were going to grant his wish and she proceeded to lead him around the restaurant in the classic superman (hand on hip, fist in the air) position. We all had a good laugh, snapped a couple of good pictures and headed home for the second round of birthday celebration a la wifey.
Ok, a little quick background…
Before we left for the cruise, we won a gift certificate to a local swanky hotel (see - Oh, lucky night! ) so, I called the next day and scheduled the certificate to be used on his birthday night as a surprise. I figured it would be the perfect ending to an amazing vacation for Issa…positive bar results launching a five day cruise, Thanksgiving with the family, a great day of surf and Christmas season kickoff on Friday, a birthday celebration and night in a swanky hotel on Saturday….of course, football on Sunday sending him back to work on Monday.
So, last night, we went and checked in at the hotel when we arrived back in town. At the reception desk we learned that we would be getting a suite per the certificate, and that the value of the certificate with taxes and everything was about 1000.00 for the night!!! When we got to our room, I have to say it was like something out of the Travel Channel…there was a beautiful gourmet birthday dessert waiting for Issa on the table in the room and a hand written card from the manager of the hotel wishing us a pleasant stay. After settling in and exploring our one-night “digs” we took showers and then changed into the luxurious bathrobes–and when I say luxurious, I mean LUXE! Oh, and then…there was a knock at the door…ROOM SERVICE! Ok, so that wasn’t included…I had ordered it in advance to be delivered…when I open the door, in rolls Mr. Man with his waiterfit (you know, like an outfit but for a waiter) and this amazing little romantic spread with two glorious steak dinners. He sets it up and leaves…and there, we dined like celebrities in our hotel room overlooking Fashion Island. Can I just say? THE BEST STEAK WE HAVE EVER HAD…and frankly, probably the best meal we have ever had. We put a movie on, I think it was Sleepy Hollow and then we fell fast sleep in our 8 million thread-count sheets.
All in all, I think the birthday celebration went well and I am fairly certain the man is happy.
Oh! I’m sorry I could have sworn I heard someone ask if there was an attorney in the house. If you were wondering, the answer to that question is–yes. There is now an attorney who has passed the California State Bar and is in line to be sworn in–first do no harm or something like that….oh, wait…that’s the hippocratic oath….I think lawyers take the hypocratic oath…
Ok, ok…enough joking…
Congrats, baby! I couldn’t be more proud. You worked so hard! Now, go sue somebody.
A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
5 THINGS I WAS DOING 10 YEARS AGO:
1. I met Issa at the mall. The rest is history.
2. I started at Valhalla High School for the last two years of my high school career.
3. I was in driver’s ed! My mom wouldn’t let me drive with her in the car without screaming her head off, holding onto the dashboard, and pumping her imaginary brake.
4. Starring in my first ever (and only) Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre.
5. Loving the boy bands.
5 THINGS ON MY TO-DO LIST TODAY:
1. Clean Fridge
2. Pack for vacation
3. Plan birthday surprise for Issa
4. Write a blog
5. Laundry
5 SNACKS I ENJOY:
1. Pink Lady Apples
2. Fruit Snacks
3. Eggrolls from Jack in The Box
4. Gingersnaps
5. Bit o’ Honey
5 THINGS I WOULD DO IF I WERE A BILLIONAIRE:
1. Pay off all our debt (I’ll just keep that there, Becca–we’re on the same page)
2. Buy my own island
3. Travel the world (anywhere a boat can take me)
4. Give money to people with good reasons for needing it
5. Start my own school
3 OF MY BAD HABITS:
1. Over cleaning. I will start cleaning my house and then get into deep cleaning like organizing drawers and stuff and sometimes I will wind up in a worse position than when I started!
2. Losing my temper–working on it though! These days I have fewer reasons to 
3. Zoning out
5 PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. San Diego, CA
2. Staten Island, NY
3. Charlottesville, VA
4. Iowa City, IA
5. Philadelphia, PA
5 JOBS I’VE HAD:
1. Structure
2. Nanny
3. Pier One
4. Piedmont Virginia Community College in the Information Technology department
5. University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics in the Admin Department
5 THINGS PEOPLE PROBABLY DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME:
1. When I am trying to fall asleep and can’t, I pretend/imagine I am in a covered wagon and it makes me feel cozy (too much Little House on the Prairie when I was younger)
2. I have a perfect circle scar on my middle finger from when I was a little kid and got my finger stuck in a can. I have to convince people it’s not a wart…it’s really not, it’s a keloid scar.
3. I am a nut for geneology
4. I have a dream of becoming the next Martha Stewart, only cooler…and more like Rachael Ray
5. I like baths but only while the tub is filling up. By the time it is full, I get bored and have to get out.
I tag:
Aileen Taylor
Issa Moe
Brad Chase
Randi Brown
Chris Wheeler
So, we have been in a bit of a whirlwind in terms of activities–going here or there and doing this or that as of late…but tonight kicked off a very busy 10 days! Issa had a pro bono conference this evening where a bunch of the first year associates from the area met at a local social club and had the opportunity to speak with a number of non-profits in the area that regularly utilize the services of attorneys. Generally speaking, most associates are required or “strongly encouraged” to participate in pro bono work as part of their employment and “career development”. Since spouses were invited, Issa sent in an RSVP for two and off we went!
It was really a fantastic night and we were able to meet a number of people involved in a wide array of social causes including breast cancer survivors network, habitat for humanity, orange county bar association, and girls, inc. There were some fantastic speakers that were both funny and inspiring, including a handful of judges and a partner at a local firm who also holds a board position of the California Bar and and has spent the last 25 years active in pro bono work.
I sincerely enjoyed the evening, although I initially wasn’t certain that I was necessarily purposeful in my presence there…but, as I said above, I met some fantastic people and found out about some exciting causes that would be fun to become involved in–including some houses built by all women through Habitat!
Anyways, at the end of the night, they had a raffle for what I considered to be a good number of prizes considering the size of the crowd. Now, generally speaking I am pretty unwilling to let myself believe that I am going to win something in a drawing. I just never do, but I assume that is how a whole lot of people feel. However, tonight, I had a good feeling that it was just our night. I looked down the list of prizes: 4 tickets to the Ducks game, 4 tickets to the Symphony, bowling for you and sixteen of your closest friends, 100.00 gift certificate to a nice steakhouse, and a gift certificate for a one night stay at the Island Hotel (formerly the Four Seasons)…(among other things)…
Well, the drawing for the hotel stay came up and I held my breath…before I knew it, the card with Issa’s name came out of the box! I was THRILLED! I had just been thinking how perfect it would be, because I realized that we really need to get away from the routine we tend to fall into with work and housekeeping and junk. I can foresee a time in the near future where it would be quite nice to maybe go see a show and come back and have room service in a deluxe suite at a fancy hotel while we watch movies and pack the mini shampoos in our overnight bag
Ok, so anyways…we were leaving and I had forgotten about another drawing we had entered when we were making the rounds at the different booths and as we were walking out the door, the girl came up to us and handed us a 50.00 gift certificate to a high-end clothing resale store and a cute little teddy bear wearing a t-shirt with the name of the organization….(wear to work).
So, I guess you could say it was a pretty lucky night for us!
Let’s just hope that luck is in place for us tomorrow–Issa gets his bar results—AHHH!!!
So, my buddy Chris has given me the power to control my own blog design and frankly it is going to my head. In a moment where he felt like he could tolerate my sheer technological idiocy, he walked me through some of the more complicated aspects of this whole thing and now I feel like a 16 year old with a driver’s license. Needless to say, you will notice some changes around here and things will come and go while I am busy trying to figure out what I like and what I want to keep….I appreciate your feedback!
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel
Lisa See
