We have been having a heckuvatime with our cable box. During important programming, such as The Daily Show, it will randomly shut down and take a few minutes to reload thereby depriving us momentarily of the snarky political commentary of Jon Stewart. In our household, this simply will not stand and so we packed it up and put it in the car, planning to take it to the Cox store at some point during our errands today.
Well, 6:30 rolls around and we find ourselves about 25 minutes away from the Cox store and there was traffic…So, we RUSHED down to the store and pulled up at 7:01 the gentleman (and I use the term loosely) was flipping the sign from “open” to “closed”. I mean, I hit the doorstep at the same time he was flicking his wrist to lock the door.
I gave him the puppy dog eyes and pouted my lip a bit and to my amazement, he didn’t waiver. He gave me the fake I-can’t-hear-you-res-ipsa-look. Not to be deterred, I showed him my cell phone that was still reflecting 7:00…I shouted a little and over enunciated a tad, made my eyes really wide–for his benefit, of course–as if he couldn’t hear me between the inch and a half gap in the door….”I JUST NEED TO SWITCH MY CABLE BOX”, I said.
Curtly, he said…”We’re closed, you’ll have to come back tomorrow.”
Just then, a customer who had been inside the store walked up behind him and needed to be let out. Much to his chagrin, he had to open the door for her and I took the opportunity to pleadingly say, “But, we just drove 25 minutes to GET here.”
He points to the sign indicating the hours and restated that they were closed and he was sorry but there was nothing he could do for us….he said that it was up to his supervisor and that his supervisor was very inflexible on that. “Besides, he said, it’s 7:05.”
Issa blurted, “YEAH! Well, we have been standing here arguing with you for four minutes!” to which he replied, “Legally, speaking we close AT 7:00…that is–my supervisor is not going to tell you anything different.”
It was at that point that Issa and I chorused “Well, then we are going to need to speak to your supervisor.”
(LEAGLLY SPEAKING?? I mean, poor guy…seriously…WHO did he think he was talking to?? My husband just spent the last three years covering every area of the law and the last three months studying specifically California state law and nowhere in there did it ever say that COX closes at 7:00 on the nose–legally speaking…that was the best he could come up with.)
He rolled his eyes and said that we would have to wait outside and he would see if the supervisor would speak with us.
So, we waited. We waited and waited and about five minutes rolled by and another customer needed to be let out and he said “My supervisor MIGHT come and speak with you.”
So, we waited and waited some more…all the while looking in the HUGE glass doors watching 5 or 6 unoccupied employees pretend to look busy shuffeling paper around and then this guy, who we had been watching do busy work behind the counter for the last 10 minutes, comes leisurely walking to the door. “We’re closed.”
We were expecting you to say that, I know that is what we were both thinking but Issa said, “We don’t have a cash transaction, we just need you to go and switch this cable box for another one that works.”
My goodness! You would have thought that we had asked him to donate a section of his liver to save his meddling mother-in-law! As if he were doing us the biggest favor in the world he takes the cable box, trades it for one in the store, and within a matter of two minutes we were on our way. Oh, but not before he reminded us that from now on we should be aware that they close at seven. Dually noted, jerkface.
I have never in my life been privy to such straight faced absurdity. I would be pissed were it not for the fact that the episode in its retelling is quite entertaining and somewhat Seinfeldian.
Histarically appauling!