Jessica Moe

 So, tonight we went out to dinner with Issa’s cousin and her husband.  Issa’s cousin-in-law, Mike, selected a Hibachi style restaurant for us and while I was excited, I was also prepared for the inevitable discomfort that comes along with eating at a table full of strangers. 

Now, frankly, I don’t think that eating with strangers should be a problem. I am all for a more communal society and yet I find myself in a quandry when it comes to eating with a bunch of people you don’t know with society the way it is today.  You see, I find it highly problematic to be sitting at a table of eight 1 group of 4, 2 groups of 2…whatever the breakdown…and while we are all at the same table, we pretend to be at our own private little tables, not listening to each others conversation…

I suppose it doesn’t have to be that way…but you have to act quickly.  You have to sit at the table and introduce yourself right away or you have to introduce yourself within a short period of time after they sit down…otherwise the window of opportunity begins to close and you will spend the rest of your dinner pretending that they aren’t there, elbows in your food…accidently using your dipping sauce instead of theirs…drinking your water…

Then, of course, there is the awkward goodbye. 

 Well, dear dinnermate, we spent the whole evening laughing together at the onion volcano or the pile of rice shaped like a beating heart…close to two hours of pretending that the other person doesn’t exist and now our evening has come to an end and the truth is that…try as I might…I could not help but acknowledge your presence at my table. So, I will bid you a fond yet awkward farewell “See, you later!” (no, I won’t) “Have a good evening!” (ok, better but–you know…I already had a good evening, remember? You were there, you used my veggie dipping sauce…and stuck your elbow in my rice…) “Bye! Thank you!” (I didn’t cook the food, I am not paying…what are you thanking me for?)…so you leave….without saying goodbye and I am sad…”Was it something I said?” “Did I offend them?” “How rude!”….

I think, next time…I will make sure to fill up the whole table…to avoid this conundrum…