How is it possible that the one box containing the most important items I own…the most expensive stuff…how is it possible that THAT is the box that ends up at the bottom of my most hefty, items during my recent move?? and how is it possible that smaller boxes, contained inside the box, were UN-CRUNCHED while the items contained IN the smaller un-crunched boxes were somehow SMASHED TO BITS.
Moving, GLORIOUS moving.
Happy September!
Ok, so the question was “Jess, do you read any happy news?” and I thought…You know, no–I don’t….and perhaps the reason I don’t is because there is so little happy news that makes the front page….AND because the sad and tragic things that happen around the world tend to help me put my own life and experiences in perspective.
However, I will agree that sad news can get a little…well…sad…so I poked around the internet and found (wouldn’t you know) happynews.com. There are a whole bunch of articles on good things happening around the US and the world….
One article I found hit particularly close to home. The mayor of Philadelphia, John Street–who is often criticized for being too much about John and too little about the city of Philadelphia….came to the rescue of a boy and a cat in a house fire on the 22nd of this month. With the aid of his bodyguards, Street wisked the boy and cat to safety and began pounding on doors to warn neighbors. You can read more about John Streets heroism here.
I was 10 or 11 when the bombing at Georgia’s Centennial Olympic Park occured. I remember this 33 year old man, Richard Jewell, being hailed as a hero for identifying a suspicious package and moving people away from it, undoubtedly saving the lives of many. Then, as suddenly as the bombing occured, the FBI turned a suspicious eye towards this man who was simply doing his job on a relatively ordinary day and ended up doing something extrodinary.
Although Jewell was later cleared of the charges it is clear that the experience was profoundly impactful.
“I am not the Olympic park bomber,” Jewell told reporters after being cleared. “I am a man who has lived 88 days afraid of being arrested for a crime I did not commit.” With good reason, he expressed dismay, hurt, and sadness at the way the FBI trampled upon his right and the media cared little for him as a person.
Today, I learned that Richard Jewell has died at the age of 44. It was stated in the news article that he died of natural causes but had been suffering from complications of diabetes and kidney failure.
So, today…I just want to acknowledge this man for his heroism. I want to apologize to Richard Jewell on behalf of the media and governmental cruelty. It has affected all too many celebrities and everyday Joes….Rest in peace, Richard. You will be remembered as a man who saved the lives of many…
Ok, I posted about two minutes ago but that was before I read this! For those of you who haven’t yet heard it is being reported that Owen Wilson has been hospitalized after a suicide attempt!
Oh, Owen. I don’t know what it was that drove you to it. I just know that my heart is hurt to hear that you were in so much pain! You are so funny and sweet.
If this is about Kate–whatever it is about…the only thing you can do, Owen, is fight your way through it! Nothing is so grim, although it may feel that way….
You have to stay here and fight…fight against whatever feels insurmountable…we need you to make us laugh and smile…and what’s more….
I value you as a person. You have strength and the capacity to affect so much change in this world with your celebrity and affability, your humor and your seemingly strong family network and support.
I am sorry you are in pain, I am sorry you are hurting. Please take the help that is being given to you because there are people that love you…people you don’t even know…
I will keep this short and sweet. I have not had insomnia for weeks now and then suddenly, it has returned.
Good stress, bad stress…every little word and every complex situation in my life is knocking around in my head and I can’t sleep nor do I want to lay my little head down and try…because, like I said, it’s all banging around in there and I am trying to ignore it.
So, instead I am watching drag queens protesting Mel Gibson outside of fashion week (who knew Mel Gibson had anything to do with fashion week?) and I am knocking around the internet at all the favorite spots but really nothing seems to be doing the trick.
I wish I had some sleeping pills right about now and I think that is what I am going to have to do after tonight.
Well, like I said…short and sweet. Just a token post–a small marker in my battle against sleeplessness….
I plan on laying down my sleepy little head in 20 minutes. Wish me retroactive luck.
Something has been weighing heavily on me. I have had such horrible anxiety about this something for days and days and yet I couldn’t bring myself to overcome my panic with simply doing the thing that terrified me. Now, I won’t tell you what the thing is…only that tonight I reached that point where I decided that the thing that freaked me out so badly simply wasn’t going to kill me and, short of death or torture, I reasoned it really wouldn’t do me any harm. The fact is, it simply felt bad.
I don’t know. I don’t know why I couldn’t face it. There were so many reasons. One of which was that I knew that facing this issue wouldn’t make it better…wouldn’t make it go away…it would just put a temporary bandage on it.
I know this is cryptic. I guess it’s just my confession and my comfort to other people who are avoiding something they don’t want to face because they are anxious or scared.
Someday I know I will look back on this and think about how small it was. But, for tonight…it really freaked me out. It is done and over. It is all ok. Nothing anyone needs to worry about as far as I am concerned…
I guess that is it tonight.
Love,
Me
So, know it has been a while since I last posted but as most of you know I am moving/have moved. I am in the process of trying to get settled in my new place and that is no small task. We have needed new everything–we kept virtually nothing from our old life mostly because there was very little to keep/worth keeping.
Anyways, I am certain there is much to tell and much worth blogging about but I think I am just going to get into the swing of things slowly and tell you about our Cal King Bed fiasco. We recently went shopping for furniture and picked out a new sofa, dining room set and bedroom set. I was glad that we found some things we could agree on…except for our bed. I have never been a big fan of the whole cal king thing. I mean, I know a whole lot of people do it and love it but I never saw it as being for me. I remember the first time I ever saw one I thought that it was really silly looking…
Needless to say I was set on getting the queen and so we ordered it. Later that night, after speaking with his cousin who has a king, Issa decided that he wanted the king and gosh darn-it he couldn’t't be talked out of it. “I mean, the upgrade is basically free!” he said. They were running a promotion where the king set was 200 more than the queen and then you got a 200 dollar discount. So, yes, that part was free. I reminded him that there were other costs associated with the behemoth of a bed…like the cost of upsizing the mattress, the cost of cal king bedsheets….
“It’s NOMINAL,” he said “I want to do it, I am going to do it.”
Ok. Fine.
So after hoisting the oversized headboard up to the second story of our townhouse via the patio and assembling the bed, off we went to look for bedding. Three days and twice what we would have spent on a queen size comforter later, we took home a bed in a bag that we thought might do the trick….After washing the sheets and placing the bedskirt on the ample boxspring, we unfurled the comforter to find a DISGUSTING bird-poopesque looking stain on the end of it.
We promptly stuffed everything in a trash bag and took it back to Macy’s…where they refunded our money and off we went again for a fourth day of bedding hunting. It was impossible. He likes geometric, I like floral.
Finally, at about 8:00 tonight, we came to JC Penny and were fortunate to find a comforter set on clearance and a coordinating throw pillow and a decent thread count sheet set to match for the same amount that we spent on the bird-poop set (from China, might I add).
On our way out the door it hit me that there were still a million things we needed. Like plates and silverware.
I begged Issa to give me a minute or two to see if I could find a set of plates and silverware because we don’t have any–well, we have our Christmas set…but no silverware.
He refused. “No, Jess. I want to see my game.” I wanted to pitch a fit but I was too tired, so I acquiesed.
Then tonight, as we were unpacking our shopping bags, Issa decided to have a bowl of cereal. I told him we didn’t have any silverware and that he was welcome to the Christmas dishes but would have to find something to use as a spoon…I recommended the measuring spoon.
He scoffed and whined a bit at his plight. He poured a bowl anyway and sat down only to find that the measuring spoon tasted just like metal when it hit his tongue and I couldn’t help myself…I laughed…
I have to admit, I was a little bitter about the whole bed thing…and apparently so was his cereal.
So, recently I signed up with astrology.com to have my daily tarot card sent to me. Now, I have never assigned much power to these things…although I have always been a bit of a skeptic with a believer’s heart…does that make sense? In other words, my brain says “generic advice” while my heart screams “THIS IS SOOO YOU!”
The thing is, though–I’ll tell you the thing….
I just had this conversation with my buddy Kate:
10:57 PM me: we have a full three days to do everything we need to and I think that is going to be really plenty of time…
I really planned well on this time around
if I do say so myself
10:58 PM
Kate: lol
10:59 PM me: and I do
(sorry Kate, for sharing your half without consent…I knew you wouldn’t mind…)
Then, I get my daily Tarot for today… 
(Thanks Astrology.com!)
The Seven of Pentacles card suggests that my power today lies in timing. I have earned the payoff or rest or am aware that I can be more productive by taking a time-out. I don’t interfere with the natural progression and development of things that out of my hands at the moment, but I know it is about time for a change. ‘Give me a minute and it’ll come to me.’ I am empowered by preparation and my asset is using time wisely.
Am I sending my body mixed messages when I take Tylenol PM and drink a Diet Coke?
Ok, well that can’t be all that this post is about so let me go into what is new in my life. This is a HUGE weekend and so very much is going on. We are moving out of the place where we have been for the whole summer and three other members of our family are moving too! The stars really have to align on this one.
So, I guess the real point of this post is that I am torn between exhaustion and anxiety…as is typical of me…I tend to be an anxious person. Oh, had you not noticed?
I look around and see everything that needs to be done and I wonder when that “wind” is going to come, you know? It waxes and wanes, hasn’t really stayed for any period of time…
Anyways, I think I have some good help on this one…I just have to remember not to try to do everything myself…
Alright, are you ready for it? I am sad to leave here and I am not quite sure if I am ready to go. I mean, I know that I am going to have to move on to my new life but it didn’t really take long to make this place feel like home…and now, we are out! I think the thing is that I have really made such good use of the spa and I am in there almost every single day. It’s such an important part of my day. I mean, I know our new place will have a spa but it is not the same type of private, relaxing type of experience…
Oh, the Tylenol PM is kicking… I think I am going to go in the spa before it gets any worse and then I am going to go to bed. Wish me luck and keep in touch…pray from me. I am going to need it.
Here’s a bit of news you can use….
AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A giant, smiling Lego man was fished out of the sea in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort on Tuesday.
Workers at a drinks stall rescued the 2.5-metre (8-foot) tall model with a yellow head and blue torso.
“We saw something bobbing about in the sea and we decided to take it out of the water,” said a stall worker. “It was a life-sized Lego toy.”
A woman nearby added: “I saw the Lego toy floating toward the beach from the direction of England.”
The toy was later placed in front of the drinks stall.
Well, with that riveting bit of reporting, here is what it doesn’t mention…There is an artist collective (whatever that means) by the name of Ego Leonard….anyways….there are pictures of our yellow man at an exhibition where apparently he decided to take a swim to cool down after…?
I can’t relaly blame him for swimming the whole thing in the end…wouldn’t you if you were a gigantic lego man, had hot chicks hanging all over you, and you knew you could never…well, you know…
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel
Lisa See
