So, I just got done changing my myspace mood to pissed off. Why am I pissed off? Because something has been eating at me. For many of you who know me, this summer marks the 1 year anniversary of someone doing something that seriously hurt me…emotionally speaking.
This person was someone I didn’t even know directly and yet her reckless, unkind and thoughtless actions wounded me so deeply that I have yet to fully recover. Sure I have healed, mostly. It’s not as though I am an emotional cripple or anything because of what she did…but it has changed me forever. Because of what she did I find myself less trusting…a bit more cynical…a little bit harder…
So, anyways…it has been bugging me the last week or so that she knows full well what chaos she inflicted on my life a year ago and has never EVER taken a moment to e-mail or call me to apologize…and you know WHAT? I deserve it. I DESERVE AN APOLOGY.
Of all people, she should know better and yet…she goes and tries to mess with my life. So, while I am not the type to hold a grudge, really…I am soo angry about what she did and I am not quite certain that I will ever be able to resolve this issue without an apology from her.
Since I doubt she will ever read this, though…I am wondering what you–my faithful readers–think I should do. Should I solicit an apology? Should I just try to let it go? I have a feeling I know what you will say but keep in mind I was VERY hurt and now I am VERY angry.
Jessica, I am no Ann Landers or Abby, but I will throw in a line or two.
Not very good at this sort of thing, but will attempt to give some advice.
Obviously, this was a very tramatic experience for you, and a very negative one.
However, we are not here for very long, so to keep thinking and dwelling on this person will only result in your getting more and more bitter, and bringing your blood pressure too high, and your health down.
I have been there, and have observed this in others. You sound like a very neat person who obviously has gotten a hard blow from another person.
Bringing out an apology from another person who has done you terribly wrong won’t work. They may apologize, but you will forevermore have that nagging feeling in your head that things just aren’t the same. They won’t be, unless that person comes to you and ‘from the bottom of her heart’ apolgizes to you.
I have been there.
Besides, you are too good for that. Move on and have sympathy for a person who has done something that terrible and doesn’t even feel like she should apologize to you for having done it.
Someday she may, but for now, move on and don’t let it tear you apart, Dwelling on it will affect your relationships with others, and will also affect your health more than you know.
Find a lot of activities to do with nice friends, and maybe join an exercise group.
Just my crude advice.
Best regards, Jack (an older, but a ‘been there’ guy)
Hi Jack!
Welcome to my blog and thank you so much for your comments. I appreciate your insight and you are completely right.
I know that I should let it go.
The thing that hurts the most is that I was trying to help her and make her life better–lend a little support. It was like trying to save a drowning person, though. She tried to bring me down.
I have finally worked through the hurt and, where I once felt badly about being so naive, I have realized it really wasn’t my fault. Not blaming myself anymore has allowed me to get angry at her (finally) but I have resolved to let it go in short order. It is support from friends (and friends I haven’t met yet!) that will allow me to do that.
Thank you for your encouraging words and I hope that you will return!
Jessica
Hi all. Jessica, sounds like you are definitely on the right track. You want to keep your present attitude, as it is much better on your mental and physical health.
You definitely have good insight, as you realized that you were the better person. As human beings, whether we are women or men, we have to consider ourselves as worth a lot, and when wronged, not blame ourselves.
Whatever comes of the wrong done to us, we have to have a positive attitude and tell ourselves we are great people, because we are.
As for friends helping you that you have never met, I have received a lot of help from friends I haven’t actually met.
Anyway, I don’t want to run this into the ground, but you take the best of care, and hope to run into you on the email/blog circuit sometime/someplace.
Best regards, Jack
Hi everyone. Back again. I always get a few minutes before starting work on my house, so I grab the time when I can. So, here I am again to pick on you guys.
Well Jessica, intervention went fair. Denial was the norm. When we told here she has a good chance of being arrested, it didn’t have that much inpact, which is also the norm I guess.
I guess I have to realize that people like my daughter aren’t in there normal frame of mine, especially when the brain’s cells are actually damaged in some cases of extended drug use.
Place of therapy has me running back and forth. Seems like they would want to just put her in there, but they are feeling out the caring of the family and her willingness to go, I guess.
Gee, Jessica, pretty wild comment under your name yesterday. Ha ha. I would have turned my head the other way, trust me. Ha ha. Yeah, right. Ha ha.
How do you get those signature-like phrases to change automatically? Neat.
All have a very nice day, and let us all pray for the victims and families of the bridge accident.
Jack
Hi. Sorry Jessica, I put the subject about my daughter right below your posting about your friend’s behavior. I apologize.
Jack