-If you only drink diet coke and never eat, it will erode your stomach… this is true, I actually met someone this happened too… she went on to become a model

-99% of men posting their weshnickens on craigslist gotta know that the only people looking there are other men

-I’d rather have dust from my own skin than from dust mites poo

-The Grand Canyon kills more donkey’s annually than pin the tail games do

-Vinegar?! So THAT’S what happened to my freshwater pearls!

And Finally:

Stay on my good side… I’ve got a Koala and I know how to use it{’s fingerprints}